Stephen Colbert: Love Your Money

Stephen Colbert Money Quote saying If you love your dough, you’ll only serve your wealth. Stephen Colbert said:
 

“In my experience, you will truly serve only what you love because service is love made visible. If you love your friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money and, if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself and you will have only yourself. So no winning” — Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is saying that people will naturally devote their energy and efforts to serving whatever it is they truly love most. If one loves their friends, they will prioritize serving and helping their friends. If they love their community, they will work to serve the community.

However, if money is what is loved the most, then one will end up serving and dedicating themselves primarily to acquiring more money. And if self-interest alone is what is loved, then that person will only serve themselves and be alone without real relationships or community.

The best interpretation is that we find purpose, fulfillment and happiness through serving others and causes larger than ourselves according to where our deepest loves and priorities lie, rather than pursuing selfish goals alone.

Stephen Colbert: Trump on Hush Money

Stephen Colbert Money Quote saying we pay tribute to our most revered leaders by putting them on currency. Donald Trump perfectly represents ‘Hush Money’ after paying pornstars and nude models to keep quiet about their affairs with him. Stephen Colbert said:
 

 
“The greatest presidents are honored, they end up on our currency. Donald Trump could end up on our hush money” — Stephen Colbert
 

Stephen Colbert is making a joke at Donald Trump’s expense. He’s referring to the fact that some of the greatest U.S. presidents, such as Washington, Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt, have had their portraits featured on American currency like dollar bills and coins.

However, Colbert suggests that given the allegations of hush money payments made during Trump’s presidency to cover up affairs, it would be more fitting for Trump’s image to end up on that kind of “currency” – a humorous way of saying the only place Trump deserves to be featured is on bills related to secret payoffs rather than legitimate banknotes.

The best interpretation is that Colbert is comically implying Trump is not deserving of true presidential honors due to the scandals surrounding him.

Late Show Stephen Colbert

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— Muckmaker™ (@RealMuckmaker) December 17, 2018

Stephen Colbert: Yearning Tax-Free

Stephen Colbert Money Quote saying in a parody of the Emma Lazarus poem on the Statue of Liberty that we would prefer allowing only rich, educated immigrants rather than the downtrodden poor. Stephen Colbert said:
 

 

“Give me your wealthy, your rich, your huddled M.B.A.s yearning to be tax-free. Send these, your English-speaking, fully insured, to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door! And lift my leg upon your filthy poor” — Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is satirizing the famous poem by Emma Lazarus about the Statue of Liberty welcoming immigrants. In this quote, he suggests the U.S. is really only interested in attracting wealthy, well-educated immigrants who won’t burden the social welfare system and will contribute economically, rather than helping the poor.

The best interpretation is that Colbert is using humor and exaggeration to critique a perception that the country’s immigration policies and priorities seem to favor the rich and educated over the less fortunate seeking opportunity.

His comedic rewriting of the poem implies the U.S. is more welcoming to those who are tax-advantaged and financially self-sufficient than to those simply seeking refuge or a better life through hard work.

Stephen Colbert: Homeless Tax Loophole

Stephen Colbert about Rudy Giuliani shaming poor people as an apologist for Donald Trumps failure to pay any income tax. Stephen Colbert said:
 

 

“You know those poor people with their loopholes. And don’t get me started on the cunning homeless who have found a way around property tax” — Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is using satire and sarcasm here to critique perceptions of the poor. The best interpretation is that he is mocking the idea that those living in poverty somehow exploit “loopholes” or cunningly avoid obligations like the wealthy.

By suggesting the homeless have found ways to dodge property taxes, he is comically exaggerating and flipping the usual narrative that the rich use sophisticated tax strategies to minimize their contributions.

His quote aims to point out the absurdity and unfairness of accusing the less fortunate of similarly evading their financial duties, when in reality they struggle merely to meet basic needs.

Colbert is employing humor to highlight double standards and sympathize with the challenges of living in poverty.

Stephen Colbert: Eight Rhymes with Great!

Stephen Colbert Money Quote saying Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf should write a kids book about how to become a bank fraudster. Stephen Colbert said:
 

 

“‘Eight rhymes with Great!’ Let’s go again for ten! Nice rhymes Stumpf! I can’t wait for your children’s book, ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Fraudulent Revenue Fish’ by the author of ‘The Taking Tree'” — Stephen Colbert

In this quote, Stephen Colbert is satirizing former Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf. He’s jokingly suggesting children’s book titles that take jabs at Stumpf and Wells Fargo’s past scandals.

“Eight rhymes with Great!” refers to Wells Fargo’s fraudulent practice of opening millions of unauthorized customer accounts to meet unrealistic sales goals. “One Fish, Two Fish, Fraudulent Revenue Fish” mocks how the bank prioritized increasing fees over ethical customer treatment.

The best interpretation is that Colbert is using comedic exaggeration and rhyming to continue criticizing Stumpf and Wells Fargo for prioritizing profits over customers through deception. His humor draws attention to corporate wrongdoings for entertainment as well as raising awareness.

Stephen Colbert: Wells Fargo CEO Fired 5300

Stephen Colbert Money Quote saying about Wells Fargo Bank CEO John Stumpf blamed and fired 5300 low-level employees because they did what they were told by management. Stephen Colbert said:
 

 

“Ol’ Stumpfy here, he stepped up and took personal responsibility … by firing 5300 low level employees he blamed for the problem. It takes true leadership to stand up and say the buck stops 5300 other places” — Stephen Colbert

In this quote, Stephen Colbert is sarcastically criticizing John Stumpf’s handling of the Wells Fargo fraud scandal. When Stumpf blamed and fired over 5,300 low-level employees, Colbert mocks this by saying it takes real leadership to claim you’re accepting responsibility but then shift the blame entirely to thousands of other workers.

The best interpretation is that Colbert is using humor and exaggeration to highlight Stumpf’s disingenuousness in pinning the fault on employees rather than properly taking accountability himself as the CEO, in an attempt to deflect from his own oversight failures that enabled the fraudulent practices.

Colbert’s satire aims to point out the insincerity in Stumpf’s public statements and actions regarding the scandal.