George Carlin: Tied Up in Debt

Meaning of George Carlin Money Quote: saying no money available for financial products, rather investing in debt and owing. George Carlin said:

 

 

“I don’t own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt” — George Carlin

This funny money quote means that rather than investing his money in financial products like stocks and bonds, Carlin’s money was tied up paying off debts owed, such as loans, mortgages and credit cards. The quote suggests Carlin felt it was better to pay down debts than to invest in the stock market or other assets.

Carlin was likely using exaggeration for comedic effect to highlight how commonplace and consuming debt had become for many Americans. Even though he may have actually had debts, the quote implies this was an over-the-top statement meant to get a laugh by portraying debt as completely controlling his finances. Making light of a serious financial issue like debt through jokes and satire was characteristic of Carlin’s comedic style for bringing attention to societal problems.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin: Tax Churches

George Carlin Money Quote saying that separation of church and state protects churches from taxation – but when churches get into government. George Carlin said:
 

 

“You know what they ought to do with
 churches? Tax them. If holy people are
 so interested in politics, government, 
and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else.
 The Catholic Church alone could wipe 
out the national debt if all you did was
 tax their real estate” — George Carlin

George Carlin said that if the Catholic Church was taxed on its real estate holdings, it could wipe out the national debt. The quote from Carlin says “The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.” Carlin believed that taxing the Catholic Church, especially on its large real estate holdings, could eliminate the entire national debt of the United States.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin: God Loves You & Needs $

George Carlin Funny Money Quote: saying church leaders are constantly in need of money as though God doesn’t manage it properly for them. George Carlin said:
 

 

“[God] loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!” — George Carlin

George Carlin said that church leaders are constantly in need of money because he thought it was ironic that God, who is described as all-powerful and all-wise, somehow cannot properly manage money for religious leaders.

The quote suggests Carlin believed church leaders ask for too much money from followers as though God needs help financing religious matters. Carlin seemed to be criticizing the amount of money some churches request from members through this comedic statement.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin on Incentive to Invest

George Carlin Money Quotation saying conservative politicians have justification for giving only to the rich and never to those in need. George Carlin said:
 

 

“Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money” — George Carlin

George Carlin was a famous comedian known for his satirical views on politics and society. In the money quote from Carlin – poking fun at a common argument made by some conservatives that giving tax breaks and incentives to wealthy individuals encourages them to invest more and help the economy.

However, Carlin sarcastically notes that conservatives do not make the same argument for giving assistance to poorer individuals, claiming that it discourages them from working. Overall, Carlin was using his comedic style to critique and satirize conservative economic philosophies around taxation and assistance policies from his more liberal perspective.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin on Middle Class Taxes

Funny Money Quotes: George Carlin explains how the middle class bears the burden of taxes for both the rich and the poor. said:
 

 

“The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there just to scare the shit out of the middle class” — George Carlin

George Carlin joked about how much taxes the middle class pays because he believed they bore an unfair burden compared to the wealthy and poor. In the funny money quote, Carlin suggests that the middle class essentially pays for government services that benefit both the wealthy and poor.

His comedy was a way to draw attention to and criticize what he saw as an imbalance in the tax system. By joking about it, Carlin aimed to make an important social and political point in an entertaining manner that would resonate with many in his audience.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin on Upper Class Taxes

George Carlin Money Quotation saying the classes are divided by the share of taxes they pay – the upper class pays none. George Carlin said:
 

 

“The upper class keeps all of the money and pays none of the taxes” — George Carlin

George Carlin was a famous American comedian known for his political and philosophical satire. In this quote, he was jokingly criticizing the perception that the wealthy “upper class” in society pays a smaller proportion of their income in taxes compared to lower and middle income groups.

Carlin used humor and exaggeration to draw attention to the issue of tax fairness and the distribution of the tax burden across different economic classes. His comedy often targeted political and social issues in a provocative way to get people thinking critically

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin on Prophecy in Atheism

Funny Money Quotes: People who don’t believe in god aren’t expected to pay for prophecy, which means they are non prophet. George Carlin said:
 

 

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization” — George Carlin

In this humorous quote, the late comedian George Carlin is playing on the word “prophet” in a punny way related to atheism and religious organizations.

By describing atheism as a “non-prophet organization”, Carlin is making a joke about how atheism, as a disbelief in gods or prophets, obviously would not involve prophets or profit in a religious sense. The humor comes from the multiple meanings of “prophet” – both a religious prophet and financial profit.

So in typical tongue-in-cheek Carlin fashion, he’s using a clever wordplay to poke fun at how atheism exists without any prophets or prospect of profit, unlike religious institutions. It’s a silly dad joke-style pun that captures Carlin’s signature comedic style of social and religious satire.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008

George Carlin on Charity & Tithing

George Carlin Money Quotation saying some believe that tithing is required but we all could use some financial help while still alive and why not from the church? George Carlin said:
 

 

“Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you” — George Carlin

George Carlin was a famous comedian known for his satirical views on religion and society. In this quote, he was jokingly suggesting that the traditional concept of tithing – where church members donate a percentage of their income to the church – should be reversed.

His point was that most people struggle financially and could use help from wealthy institutions like churches, rather than feeling obligated to donate to them. Overall, he was using satire and humor to critique religious institutions and societal norms around money and charity.

Birthday: May 12, 1937 – Death: June 22, 2008