Elayne Boosler: Work New Year’s

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying working on New Year’s is lucrative, so why not work every year if you have the opportunity? Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“As a standup comedian, I’ve worked almost every New Year’s Eve of my adult life. It’s the best-paying night of the year” — Elayne Boosler

In this quote, comedian Elayne Boosler is explaining that New Year’s Eve is a very lucrative night for stand-up comedians to perform. As the last day of the year that people go out to celebrate and ring in the new year, there is high demand for entertainment on New Year’s Eve. Many venues will host comedy shows or have comedians perform as part of their New Year’s festivities.

Boosler notes that as a standup comedian, she has worked almost every New Year’s Eve throughout her career. She then states that it is “the best-paying night of the year,” indicating that the pay is higher for comedy performances on New Year’s Eve compared to other nights, likely due to the increased demand and festive atmosphere that drives audiences.

So in short, she is pointing out that New Year’s Eve is a prime opportunity for financial gain for standup comedians due to the high number of shows and increased pay rates on that night of celebration.

Elayne Boosler: Courts – Money is Speech

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying since money is now considered speech, let’s put some money into the Supreme Court to replace and speak for Scalia and the rest of the justices. Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony’s, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full” — Elayne Boosler

In this quote, Elayne Boosler is satirically commenting on the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling that equated political spending to free speech. By saying we should “replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, etc.”, she’s implying we should literally have dollar bills as Supreme Court justices since money is now considered speech.

This is a tongue-in-cheek jab at the idea that financial influence could drown out other voices in politics. Overall, Boosler is criticizing the notion that unchecked political spending gives disproportionate power to wealthy donors, and suggests this undermines the democratic process and favors certain interests over the public good.

Elayne Boosler: Newspapers Cut Comics

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying with quarterly profits top of mind, young people lose comic strip sections and lose interest. Elayne Boosler said:

Daryl Cagle © CagleCartoons.com

“While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips” — Elayne Boosler

In this quote, comedian Elayne Boosler is criticizing decisions by newspaper editors and owners. She points out that as readership and profits decline, newspapers are paradoxically reducing the space devoted to comic strips, which she argues are the very feature that attracts new and younger readers.

By cutting back on comics, Boosler believes the newspapers are undermining their ability to gain more readers and revenue. The quote suggests comics have broad appeal and are important for bringing in a new generation of customers.

However, newspapers are choosing a short-sighted approach that will further damage their businesses rather than maintaining comics pages to recruit fresh readership.

Dave Granlund © CagleCartoons.com

Elayne Boosler: STD’s, TV Preachers

Funny Money Quotes: rewarding them with STDs would be a good method to stop fools from donating to TV preachers. Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?” — Elayne Boosler

In this provocative quote, comedian Elayne Boosler is making a satirical critique of televangelists who solicit donations from viewers. By suggesting it would be preferable if AIDS could only be contracted through financially contributing to TV preachers, she implies these ministers do more harm than good.

The overall message seems to be that some televangelists exploit people’s faith for monetary gain, and this behavior is as unhealthy spiritually as AIDS is physically. While an intentionally shocking statement, Boosler’s point appears to be calling attention to the excesses and abuses she perceives in the way some religious broadcasting raises funds from vulnerable audiences.

Elayne Boosler: Banks Keep Savings

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying you can get a toaster from your bank instead of getting your savings returned if they are dishonest (likely). Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“Banks used to give us toasters when we opened an account. Now, they give us toasters instead of returning our savings” — Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler seems to be making a joke about how banks have changed their customer incentives and treatment of savings accounts. In the past, banks would offer small promotional gifts like toasters to attract new customers opening checking/savings accounts.

But Boosler implies that nowadays, if a customer’s savings are lost or inaccessible due to bank issues, the bank’s apology is as trivial as a toaster rather than returning the full amount as expected.

Her remarks portray banks as less concerned with customer service and more likely to inconvenience customers rather than solve problems competently. Overall, she seems to be humorously criticizing a shift where banks prioritize cost-cutting over good customer experiences.

Elayne Boosler: Banks Robbed Homes

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying investment banks robbed homes of investors and got arrested, but were let go if they returned tiny portion of what they looted. Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“Basically, many banks (including the investment firm of Charles Schwab) essentially robbed the entire contents of our homes: dishes, furniture, electronics, family photos, your grandmother’s apron, everything. When caught by the police (the SEC), the thieves were asked to return only a toaster” — Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler seems to be criticizing financial institutions like Charles Schwab for major misconduct and a lack of serious consequences. Her metaphor portrays the companies as having essentially stolen all of customers’ personal possessions and valuables through their actions.

While the SEC (the “police”) caught them, Boosler argues the punishment of only returning a “toaster” is trivial and does not make up for the harm caused or properly deter future wrongdoing.

Her remarks imply that fines alone do not remedy extensive customer losses and suggest stronger penalties are needed to match the scale and impact of the infractions. Overall, she appears to believe financial regulators failed to adequately punish major rule-breaking by large firms.

Elayne Boosler: SEC Kisses Schwab

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying money market investors taken to cleaners by Charles Schwab were repaid pennies on dollar for lost investment money. Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“I totally, totally resent the fact that the SEC (is the rest of its name “RET”?) let Charles Schwab plead out to a deal that repaid innocent money market investors about ten cents on the dollar” — Elayne Boosler

In this quote, Elayne Boosler is criticizing a decision by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) regarding the financial company Charles Schwab. Schwab had to repay investors in its money market funds who lost money, but the SEC settlement allowed Schwab to repay only about 10 cents for every dollar lost.

Boosler expresses resentment that the SEC negotiated a plea deal with such a low reimbursement amount, which meant innocent investors were left shouldering most of the losses. Her comment suggests regulators should have held Schwab more accountable and recovered closer to full restitution for those harmed.

Overall, the message seems to be one of frustration that the SEC settlement let Schwab off relatively easy for its role in the losses, leaving everyday investors to absorb the brunt of the financial impact.

Elayne Boosler: Charles Schwab Greedy

Elayne Boosler Money Quote saying Charles Schwab took investment money labeled as “safe” to invest in risky mortgages, lost it and paid investors only a dime on the dollar. Elayne Boosler said:
 

 

“Schwab took the money entrusted to it by people willing to accept very little, to protect their savings, and used it to buy high-risk junk mortgages to enrich itself on the back end. We weren’t greedy. Charles Schwab was” — Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler seems to be criticizing investment firm Charles Schwab for misusing customers’ savings that were entrusted to the company. She argues that Schwab took the money from customers who were content with modest returns in exchange for protection of their savings.

However, Schwab invested these funds recklessly by using them to purchase high-risk mortgage-backed securities, prioritizing profits for itself rather than maintaining the safety of customers’ money as expected.

Boosler implies Schwab’s greed and risky bets caused harm, while customers had reasonable expectations that their savings would remain secure. Overall, her remarks portray Schwab’s actions as a betrayal of customers’ trust for unjust enrichment.