Dave Barry: Save The Receipt

Dave Barry Money Quote saying no matter what you give, just be certain to keep the receipt so it can be returned or exchanged. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt” — Dave Barry

In this quote, Dave Barry is again using his trademark satirical humor to poke fun at the commercialism and consumerism of the holiday season. By saying the “important thing” is to save the receipt rather than the gift itself or how it’s wrapped, he’s implying that many see the holidays less as a time for giving/sharing and more as an opportunity for returns/exchanges.

The best interpretation is that Barry is lampooning a mindset where the true priority is having proof of purchase rather than the meaning and memory of a gift. He’s satirizing how receipts can take precedence over relationships or goodwill during the holidays.

Dave Barry: Holiday Season

Dave Barry Money Quote saying we worship at the altar of the shopping gods for our gift redemption. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice” — Dave Barry

In this quote, Dave Barry is satirically commenting on modern American consumer culture and how it has influenced traditional holiday celebrations. Specifically:

• He notes the “Holiday Season” is meant to be a deeply religious or spiritual time of year.
• However, he then jokes that most people nowadays observe it by going shopping at their preferred commercial shopping mall.

Barry is exaggerating for comedic effect, but highlighting how retail therapy and gift-giving have in many ways overshadowed the original religious significance of winter holidays for many. His humor aims to make an insightful observation about societal trends in a lighthearted way.

Overall, the message is that through satire, Barry acknowledges the shift toward secular commercialism that now dominates the holidays for much of the American public beyond religious observance alone. It’s a witty commentary on cultural change.

Dave Barry: Get Rich Click

Dave Barry, “Get Rich Click” Money Quote saying in 1999 that everyone but you got rich by starting internet businesses, especially goofy looking nerds. Dave Barry, “Get Rich Click” said:
 

 

“Everybody — by which I mean :not you — is getting rich off the Internet. We are constantly seeing stories in the media about young Internet entrepreneurs who look like they should be mowing lawns for spending money, except that they have the same net worth as Portugal” — Dave Barry

In this quote, Dave Barry is once again using humor and exaggeration to comment on stories of young people achieving sudden wealth through internet businesses. Specifically:

• He jokes that “everybody” except the reader themselves is getting rich off the internet, implying widespread fortunes.
• He then provides an example of young entrepreneurs featured in the media who look too young to be so successful, but have amassed wealth comparable to entire countries like Portugal.

Barry aims to get a laugh by greatly exaggerating and playing with perceptions. His deeper message acknowledges the ability of internet businesses to potentially make ordinary people extraordinarily wealthy with the right ideas. However, through comedy he also aims to provide perspective on how uncommon and newsworthy such major successes truly are.

Overall, the quote satirically references the idea that internet-fueled wealth is within easy reach for many, while still recognizing the entrepreneurial opportunities the digital era has enabled for those with vision and skills. It’s a characteristically witty take from Barry on contemporary economic stories.

Dave Barry: Beer No Help at Tax Time

Funny Money Quotes: Beer helps us relax and enjoy many mundane things – but won’t help with taxes and may tax us even more. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“It’s tax time. I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink” — Dave Barry

In this quote, Dave Barry is humorously acknowledging the confusion and frustration that many taxpayers experience each year when trying to understand and complete their tax forms and documents. Specifically:

• He notes it must be tax time because he is looking at tax documents, signaling the arrival of the annual filing period.
• He then jokes that no matter how many beers he drinks while reviewing the paperwork, the complex tax information “makes no sense to him.”
• This is an exaggerated way to convey that even with attempts to relax, the average person still finds the tax system perplexing.

The overall message is that Barry aims to resonate with readers who can relate to feeling baffled by tax documentation, no matter how hard they try to comprehend it. Through comedy, he highlights taxpayers’ annual struggle to navigate complex tax rules and requirements.

Dave Barry on IRS Tax Tips

Dave Barry Money Quotation saying tax advice from the IRS is obvious and they, oddly, don’t want help you avoid paying taxes. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“Print neatly. That’s the kind of advice that the IRS considers a ‘dynamite’ tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they’re useless” — Dave Barry

This is another humorous quote from comedian Dave Barry about taxes and the IRS. Specifically:

• He jokes that the IRS considers basic tips like “Print neatly” on tax forms to be “dynamite” or extremely helpful advice for taxpayers.
• However, if a taxpayer were to actually ask the IRS for advice on illegal tax evasion tactics (“how you can cheat”), he says they would be “useless” in providing that kind of harmful information.

Overall, the quote is using sarcasm to point out that while the IRS provides straightforward filing guidelines, their role is to enforce tax laws, not enable or turn a blind eye to tax fraud. Barry aims to get a laugh from taxpayers’ frustrations with the IRS through this exaggerated perspective.

Dave Barry: Size of US Tax Code

Dave Barry Money Quotation saying the monstrous complexity of the rules one must understand as a taxpayer to properly file taxes contributes to failure to pay. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales” — Dave Barry

In this quote, Dave Barry is once again using humor and hyperbole to highlight the immense size and complexity of the U.S. tax code. Specifically:

• He notes that as taxpayers, full compliance with all tax rules is mandatory by law.
• However, he then dramatically compares the length of the tax code to the “size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales” – the huge draft horses that pull the Budweiser wagon in commercials.

This is an exaggerated way of saying the tax code has grown enormously long and burdensome. Just as the massive Clydesdale horses look intimidating, so too does fully understanding and following every provision of the tax system.

The overall message is that Dave Barry finds the tax code absurdly lengthy and complicated through this comedic analogy. It aims to resonate with taxpayers’ frustration at the difficulty of perfectly navigating our intricate tax laws.

Dave Barry: IRS Agents Regular Destroyers

Dave Barry Money Quotation saying IRS agents seem to have free access to our bank accounts with threat of interest and penalties – frightening prospects on par with identity theft. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a ‘pain in the neck,’ the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life” — Dave Barry

This quote from humorist Dave Barry is making light of the seriousness of taxes and the power of the IRS in a tongue-in-cheek way. Specifically:

• He tells taxpayers to file their returns on time to avoid any penalties or issues with the IRS.
• While taxes can feel burdensome (“a pain in the neck”), he reminds people that IRS agents are just regular people doing their jobs.
• However, he then jokingly notes that despite being regular folks, IRS agents have the authority (“can destroy your life”) if a taxpayer fails to properly comply with tax laws and pay what they owe.

Overall, the quote is using humor and exaggeration to acknowledge taxpayers’ frustrations with taxes but also to remind them not to take the IRS lightly, as noncompliance can have serious consequences despite the people working there just being normal individuals. It’s meant to get a laugh while still communicating an important message about tax responsibilities.

Dave Barry: Receipts & Tax Forms

Funny Money Quotes: nerves about getting everything on the tax form in a way that avoids paying excess with the threat of audits if we take it too far can lead to extreme anxiety in front of a blank tax form. Dave Barry said:
 

 

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta” — Dave Barry

Dave Barry is known for his satirical humor. In this quote, he is jokingly referring to how tedious and frustrating the process of doing taxes can be for many Americans.

By saying to “stab yourself in the aorta”, he is using hyperbole to emphasize just how unpleasant gathering receipts and filling out tax forms feels to some.

The best interpretation is that he is using sarcasm and exaggeration for comedic effect to poke fun at the annual burden of completing one’s income taxes.